Missing Paul
Paul and Whit, May 2007As I write this post, we are watching some home videos of Paul. I'm sure it must be a therapeutic thing to do, but that's not why we do it. We do it because Paul has been gone now for close to 6 weeks and already his soft skin, wonderful smile, sarcastic remarks, and addictive laughter is losing its hold in my memory. This is despite the fact that I think of him almost moment-by-moment. His goneness overwhelms me frequently, and I find myself just needing him. We have lived in a day-to-day dependence upon the Lord for 5 years, and I don't see an end to that any time soon. If anything our dependence is magnified in our pain.
I'm not sure what to expect from an emotional standpoint this week. I took Jack to the "meet the teacher" night last Thursday, and I saw some of Paul's friends who are getting ready to start 1st grade. I thought, "Paul should be here doing this." Not that he especially craved school, and I am sure he is enjoying heaven more, but it did signify to me that this could be a hard week as school gets going. Please pray for us; this will be a bitter sweet week for us.
We know you are praying for our grief too. I have to remind myself often that we are just getting started, and it will get harder. We also know that God's grace is enough...just as it has always been.
Love to all...
posted by Saxon Report at 1:13 PM
6 Comments:
We pray Dudley's prayer for you each and every day...and add a little :o)
We want you to know how much we appreciate your willigness to continue posting on the blog site. Our family continues to check it everyday. And, although our prayers have changed, we still want to know what to pray for to help you all through this very difficult time.
May God hold you in His tender, loving arms and give you a peace that passeth all understanding.
praying daily, sometimes many times each day that God will guard your hearts with His peace and that His nearness will be your good . . . Ps. 73
For all of you in every situation I pray God's grace and strength to come upon you. He is holding you even when the feeling is not there. lk
Your faith and trust in God and His goodness is inspiring to me. I pray for your family every night, but I look to you as a source of strength, and I thank you for that.
I am praying for you all now even as I post. Hugs to you all...
Thank you for posting - - I still check daily and my heart aches to feel your grief, yet I rejoice (just as yall do) to think of your Paul with the angels. I know getting back into school routine may be helpful on one hand, but painful as you are reminded of Paul as you see his classmates. I will be lifting you all up in prayer, as always, and saying extra prayers for you all as you start back to school. Much love to you all.
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