When faith matters the most

This past week, it seems like every kid I know has cancer, is struggling for life, or is otherwise going through some kind of treatment crisis where there is little hope. I know...I exaggerate, but in our small culture of cancer families, it seems that way. I watch my own Paul suffer through disease pain, treatment pain, and laying in a hospital bed while his peers wrap up a year of kindergarten, play sports, and basically enjoy the life of a child. I know of lots of other families going through the same thing. And, some families have lost their child this week. With all this crummy stuff going on with our kids and so little hope being given us by our doctors (who love our kids too), I have to ask myself...why do I persist with faith at all? One answer easily comes to mind...a legion of people are praying loud, attention-getting prayers on our behalf. And, there is this truth: It is during times of hopelessness, based on what we see and hear, where our faith has meaning. "Walk by faith, not by sight." If we lose faith during these hopeless times then it was/is inert faith at best. NOW is the time to have faith - when nothing you see or hear says you should. In Romans, Abraham is described as behaving this way - "When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said he would do" (4:18, The Message). God doesn't say he'll heal our chidren, etc., but He does say he'll never forsake us. So, I choose to believe anyway, despite little hope, and I want to see what God will do.

Paul's night was disturbed numerous times at the throw-up bucket, and his nausea persists. We're mixing up some new meds for him today: Marinol (pill, not the "joint" form), Emend, and we are working towards getting him off the Morphine and onto the Methadone for home meds. He'll be getting dose 2 of 4 of Velcade later today.

I know you are praying.